I hashtag goals a lot. Because without them, I’m kind of lost. When strangers ask me what’s next on my journey I can’t wait to tell them the one-through-ten that I reference when traveling. Not because I’m proud of them, but because almost always, their bucket lists are totally different. You see, the majority of us have a Bucket List that we reference in moments of boredom. When tomorrow becomes less of a guarantee and more of just a possibility we set goals to achieve our highest potentials. Or at least, some of us do.

The guy at the bar next to me always wants to “Swim with sharks”. I’m just over here trying to own a car with leather interior. If your Bucket List is just a collection of my nightmares, it’s probably best to assume that we have very little in common. I still ask, and I still get stupid answers like “Run a 100K”. Ok…Forrest Gump.

While I’m waiting to check off “Meeting Paul Rudd” and “Starting my own make up line” I get flustered when I see “Building a home in Nigeria” as a legitimate objective. The likelihood of me ever going there is about the same as me dating someone who has the time, money, and flyer miles to visit a poverty-stricken continent like Africa. Zero. Who are you? Brad Pitt? Let’s work on just not being a complete douche bag first, and then we can make our way to saving the world.

Not having a Bucket List is like a sin these days. “Running with the bulls, now that’s on my bucket list” my girlfriend blurts out at our favorite Mexican restaurant. Let’s be fucking realistic here.  “I’m aiming for not over drafting my account this month and you want to do what?”. You can’t even work a treadmill, what makes you think being chased by a 2000 pound animal down a cobblestone walkway in Spain will be achievable? I don’t know if it was Morgan Freeman or Jack Nicholson who ruined the simplicity of Bucket Lists for us, but somewhere along the lines, somebody invented the art of categorizing impractical planning and making it “cool”.

Your to-do’s before you die should be things you can actually do before you die. I assume, because we won’t have a second chance at all this bullshit. Aim as high as you want, but don’t think I won’t roll my eyes at you when you tell me one day you’re going to take a bath with the pope. These lists are for us to block out the questionable and achieve the feasible. World hunger is not your problem. Self discovery is. Don’t let the world make you so brave that you see life as one giant box you’re not able to check off.

miss it

3 thoughts on “The Fucket List

  1. You know I have to say this post really made me think. I think what’s on my Bucket List, is “Fall in love again and make it stick this time” I think its simple and achievable enough. Thanks for this, I really enjoyed it. And see you in Spain, I will be the one in the red dress behind the bulls. LOL.


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