Not everything lasts forever. 

Your favorite movie. The rain shower passing your thirsty lawn. Hitting your funny bone. Being out of breath. The moment somebody gets you

Sometimes people come into our lives to remind us that we as humans were meant for extremes. To be extremely satisfied, or absolutely devastated. Either way, the moment is ours for the feeling.  

Admit it. You like the way bad feels as long as it’s tickling the numbness of your every day life. Ask the heroin addicts. The sex feigns. The abused children. It may not be right, but wrong is attentive and prosperous. It gives life meaning because it urges us to be engulfed in an emotion. And when we know pain, we immediately understand pleasure. 

Love hard, or never at all. Nobody I know said that, so I can’t quote them, but I live by it like its some god damn art piece on my Pinterest wall. Some people are going to keep you on track and others will unsuspectingly throw you completely off course. But they arrived, and they were there, and they made you feel. How crazy would we be to not give it every ounce of our being in return? I cant seem to underestimate the power of giving love it’s full potential. No matter what round I’m in. 

There’s something to be said about tragedy, be it big or small. I don’t know that I’d know love if I hadn’t ever lost it. And I wouldn’t understand utter despair until I’d fallen hopelessly in an unconditional intimacy. 

I want to be inspired to expand. To be challenged to revisit any reasons I’m not able to do so over the course of my days here on earth. I want to go to terrible places. And find myself in moments where the rest of the world doesn’t have the strength to break in. I never want to lose the gift of feeling, let it drain me of my happiness and ache down to my core.  All of this with someone I connect with on the same level, someone who is as sure of the ups as we’ve found ourselves down. 

The irony is that I’ve had him. And I’ve lost it. And I’ve refound him again. And I can’t seem to escape what the universe thinks I deserve. It drives me wild with anticipation and carries me to new depths of passion. I let it have its way with me, because my darkest hours are filled with unforgettable enlightenment. In those brightly lit moments of self awareness I see him and I’ve fallen in love with the sight of his perfect fucking soul. 

But nothing lasts forever. Or so it seems. Not even him, in my wildest dreams. 

One thought on “This feeling. 

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