I was one step closer to closure, film without any exposure.
Dark rooms, fade and zoom.
Tell me you didn’t mean to expose her.
Just ripped me apart like a poster. Broken soldier, you couldn’t even hold her. Used your past over and over. For excuses, about abuse which, weren’t the cause of any other bruises. Just when you felt useless, you could use it, to get back to a place more lucid.
Tell me, why’d you even call last week? Talking your fancy tongue and cheek? Fuck I feel like Ive never felt this weak. Gave into apologies like a god damn sneak peak, of your mid week, just get up-disappear-losing streak.
Divorce, check. One less thing, found me a man who never wore his ring. If I was pong you were ping, bouncing off each other through this spring time fling. But you kept me on that string, just long enough to help you heal the sting. From another woman’s game, thrown in the race without any shame.
No disclaimer, for not claiming her, the truth wasn’t the same with her. Lie to stay with her and bathe in her, love for love, desire for life, wanting anything besides your wife since she hated you, berated you, told you you’d always feel the weight, you lose.
But wait, your loss was losing me. Because I was a future that woulda set you free. To be that man you want people to see, fought for the country now building tracks to flee, to the next town of people who don’t know your past, journey’s end when they burn out fast. Trains wreck, like people do, but I dug deep like those tracks you add to. I crossed my heart, and hoped you died, can’t accept that this was all a lie.
Empty space, no embrace, throw me to the wolves just in case, there was anything left of my desire to stay, to watch you disappoint, to watch you pay for something I would have helped you through, but cowards do what cowards do, making decisions for both them and you.