Good thing, I say. Anniversaries are for the birds.
As a matter of fact next week is my one year anniversary of Taryndownwalls. And I didn’t even buy it flowers, or blow it unenthusiastically. (Sorry, mom *earmuffs*) Well, I mean, I guess I have blown it quite periodically. But not in the hey, it’s your birthday and it’s either this, Applebee’s, or anal type way. More-so in the, getting to the good part and losing interest. Or the making it to almost a status change and then finding out he’s already in a long term relationship with someone else, the entire time.
I’ll be honest, I wanted to, at this point have someone more solid to write about. A muse, not a punching bag (for all of you egotistical morons who fear a relationship with a blogger) We all feared i’d be in this forever loop of petty patterns that kept me single forever. Because, let’s face it, I write for readers who crave my failures. After all, what kind of read would it be if I was winning? This is real life, and I’m not Charlie sheen, so, I did the best I could and 365 days later my status hasn’t changed. Not even once.
I dated some pretty filthy liars, a handful of cowards, a couple desperate dummies, a few really REALLY solid losers, and someone who I legit thought was my soulmate.
I went to the zoo, baseball games, hiked to peaks of mountains, drove to new states, road four wheelers, tailgated, saw movies, ice skated, crashed comedy shows, played sports, hopped on the back of motorcycles, went to concerts, tried new breweries, shot guns. I did everything there is to do, short of Netflix and chill.
I met mothers, brothers, sisters and friends even, the ex-girl kind. I juggled feelings, introduced my puppies, held hands, locked lips and shed some tears.
And tonight, I sleep alone. Single.
My god was it a year. The kind you only dream of having with the same person over and over when you find them. Looking back, I saw a little of what I wanted in everybody, and now I know the everything I want in somebody. No pressure, non existent boyfriend. I’ll let you in on a little secret…on my deal benders.
You can’t already have a girlfriend, or be fresh out of a relationship. This is hard to even write because I feel like I shouldn’t even have to request this. Online ventures are just band -aids. Selfish ones. The kind you use to stop the bleeding and then you put your hand back in that fire once you’re skins done being charred. I’m sorry, but you’re not ready. I’m ready. Rebound elsewhere.
You can’t be a homebody. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good nap. But, we can nap after we hike, explore, adventure, ect. Grab your adventure cape, I need enthusiasm and creativity in continued daily activities or else…id rather just avoid the headache of trying to get two people, one who hates travel, to agree on leaving the house.
You are well spoken. I am fueled by other people’s ability to make me go “wow, I’m not even mad, I’m impressed.” Battle of wits is hands down the sexiest thing a partner has to offer me. I am highly stimulated by verbiage, so dull conversation is an automatic withdrawal.
You have to like animals. I don’t think anybody should trust people who don’t. With that said, I have two dogs. Who are pure entertainment. And if you aren’t enthused or accommodating, we don’t want that kind of negativity in our lives.
You have to put in the effort. This is important to our generations show of interest. With as many options as we have these days, putting in the effort is the ONLY sure fire way to show someone you care. Talk all day, everyday, call me between dates, text me while you’re out with her. There are plenty of ways to entertain multiple options at once, and I’m not stupid, I’ve done it. I need someone who is willing to zone in, to be fully engulfed in everything we as a couple might achieve.
I used to have desires. Then I threaded them through potential suitors and I found at the end of that needle, pure necessities. I, as open minded as I continue to vow to be do not have deal breakers. But I’m human, and I have needs. I think somewhere along the way I let those go by the wayside. I let my infatuation turn to lust and it blinded me completely.
Next week is my anniversary. Not my wedding one. Or even the Facebook kind. But I still get to celebrate an achievement; a job well done. Meeting and greeting, and putting myself out there 100% for others’ pure entertainment and my, well, solitary growth.
This week I celebrate the men who refused to claim me, it’s because of you I got to meet the next. And I celebrate the select few who opened up my heart to the possibility of something incredibly real. I’m sorry I couldn’t date you all, my morals have me restricted to just one, but I thank each and every one of you for the laughs, the insight, and most importantly allowing me to: