Coming off of the high that was ultimately defined by my haters as being a ‘hype-girl for suicide’ I figured I would touch on something less intrusive when diving into my next article. Less drama-inducing topics include: make up? Nah, too many male readers. Bad Ryan Reynolds movies? (side note there aren’t any so that’s a short post) Um, puppies? Puppies are neutral. So there I was, downloading a photo of the Homeward Bound pack for cute reference ranges and I remembered what’s been REALLY chapping my ass lately. Believe it or not, it’s not the epic Amazon Prime Day fail. What a sure fire way to ruin a girls week though. Give her all of the tools she needs to purchase products at highly discounted rates and then crash the site and throw a picture of a dog up to try to soften the blow. It’s not in anybody’s nature to be mad at an apologetic Corgi…you know what you’re doing Amazon. Just take my money, Waffles.


Puppies out, opinionated assholes in. Back to the part where it’s almost impossible to write neutrally, unless it’s literally about neutrality. Even then, some of us feel pretty strongly either way about the kinds of people who are what I like to call ‘inappropriately passionate‘. Inappropriately passionate people are, to me, defined by their reactions to decisions made outside of their own conclusions. Take for instance the person who becomes ill with disappointment over the idea that someone with completely different experiences, and thus views, has no desire to agree with them. In contrast, that same person may genuinely loathe something to the point that they commit an act as ostentatious as crime to be heard. Dear God, enter: Switzerland.

Don’t get me wrong, passion is my go-to bullet point on my list of qualities to find within my inner circle. But, the unbecoming pressures of pushed agenda’s really blow the steam right out of my neutral parade. I’m always trying my hardest to be knee deep in other people’s opinions without a hint of aggression, because NOBODY CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY IF YOU ARE A CLOSED MINDED FUCK. I did just mention no hints of aggression right? Whoops. I mean, at least my feathers are ruffled about moral instability and not like, someone’s choice of car they drive.

If i’m being honest, this isn’t even a war on recent political judgments. I’m more shook by the tiny unfair battles projected upon everyday life choices. Sadly they are becoming more common practices by far too many self-entitled Millenials without a clue about how to let their opinion be a personal position and not an automatic requirement for recruitment. From the people who have something to whisper about the un-graduated college drop outs, to the know it all’s who think my debilitating depression is simply solved by a morning yoga YouTube video. The neutrals hear you and we are sorry you’re so mad we don’t feel the same.


I want every person, hetero-homosexual-meat eating-vegan-democratic-republican-undocumented illegal immigrant-native to hear me when I say…feel adamantly and purposefully, but do not push your point. I see your perspective, I respect your initiative, and now I trust that deep within your fervor you are not also short sighted and selfish. Because this is where I hang up.

I was listening until you told me you were ‘highly disappointed that I chose the dairy option over a non-dairy alternative’ because ‘cows don’t have the same kinds of choices you do’. Bitch, please. Let me live my best life.


Before some of you take the basis of this post’s point, being the lull of neutrality and rip it to shreds in as dark of times as these, remember that being neutral doesn’t make me a catalyst to failed positive change, it just means that I don’t aggressively push myself or others in any specific direction when it comes to ‘the right choice’. Assuming anybody’s choice can even be defined as that.  Don’t get me wrong (most of you will) I believe with how troubled our country is right now it’s important to be a vigilante for broken moral compasses, but maybe not as hell bent on redirecting people’s opinions when it comes to their meal plan. The problem arises when that same person who insists mint chip is the inferior ice cream flavor, is also the guy who runs his car into a crowd of protesters because he got real heated while watching CNN. And if you say I’m wrong, you’re just fulfilling the circle of finger pointing honestly. The line is for sure blurred.



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